Way in the back of the chapel a young man stands and cries. After Mass I take him in my arms and ask what's wrong? "I have to go," he sobs. Why? Iulian has been with us from the beginning and is a special friend of Ruth. Just for fun, he addresses her with his family name.
Iulian made it through school and trained as a hairdresser - an impressive accomplishment in light of his limited abilities. He found a job more than a year ago and, to the surprise of everyone, he has managed to keep it. We are proud of him. Why does he have to go? Slowly he manages to explain.

His care giver has found a room for him. After 12 years he will be leaving the Farm for Children and will be independent. He wants to laugh and cry at the same time. In the meantime many children have encircled us; they are curious and want to comfort "Schobi". As a street child he got the name "Little Rat" because he had a small tiger-rat face. "Iulian is a role model for all of you," I explain to the children. "He is moving out today, but he still belongs to our family." He'll take part in Club CONCORDIA.

Every Saturday our former residents meet in Club CONCORDIA. It is the best hour of the week, says Nicu. He works as a door man in a school where he can also live. He is working for his high school equivalency degree in night school. He is free on Saturdays and he meets his "brothers and sisters" in the Club. He knows some of them from the time when they were still on the streets. The twenty young adults have a lot to talk about: former days, work, studies, and news from "their" children's houses. They boast of boyfriends and girlfriends. Then Costin, the leader, begins with the program. The Club is organising an Olympics. They have prepared many questions and tasks for a competition in which all 31 CONCORDIA houses will participate. Practical tests in sewing, hand crafts, ironing, and cooking as well as problems in biology, geography and literature are planned. Points can also be won with creativity, poetry, recitations, dance and songs. There will be intelligence tests and athletic competitions. The Olympics will run over months; the Club CONCORDIA members will come to all of the houses until a winner has been established. The first prize is a trip to the Carpathian Mountains or to the Danube Delta.

The connection to the children who have grown up and become independent elicits real joy. They don't leave us alone with our worries - worries which aren't decreasing. Certainly some go away and disappear for a time. We have also had an angry and resistant parting. But after some weeks or months, one or the other returns. Camelia is even living with us again. She is doing a correspondence degree course and helps raise the children. Moise lives on the street but comes to the social centre daily to warm up. He often brings children with him whom he has picked up at the train station. He is a street worker who climbs down to the poorest.

With so many farewells a word from scripture helps us: and then he slept. The ability to sleep when the young men go out with friends and girlfriends. When they spend the night away. When they begin to smoke - will they also start doing drugs? When they haven't yet finished their schooling or haven't yet found a job -- don't hold on to them! Then they can come back again. Then we learn new things from our children and experience surprises. Our grown children in Club CONCORDIA manage to get the children excited about the Olympics; the care givers in the houses would never have managed that.
The family never stops. But there must be departures, farewells. The greater the love, the greater the pain upon leaving. During these times some of the people who care for the teenagers learn how to pray. To pray for the children, and in so doing, to remain connected to them. To say thanks for the happy years of childhood. Jubilation arises when we look up to our children and are able to feel proud of them.

Christmas is coming. Then we will gather around the child in the manger. Also this child will become difficult. Years later his mother will say to him, "Child, how could you do that to us? Your father and I were looking for you, we were afraid." With the family from Bethlehem we will worry about our children, the big and the small, on Christmas Eve. Our children will light candles and say thanks for our benefactors and friends. Our wish is this, that those entrusted to you may grow like Jesus: in wisdom and favour with God and men. (Lk 1,80)

Yours,

Advent 2003